My first AS english descriptive writing assignment

A Vivid Childhood Memory

There is a sense of thrill that comes with knowing that one day you may leave your mark upon a person. When I was but a child, I always become ecstatic when I embarked on my so-called "adventures". I still recall a moment in my life that is forever embedded in my mind.

When I was 5 years old, I was walking down the street passing a pier when I caught a glimpse of an old man sitting at the end of it, holding some sort of a stick which had a string attached to it. The string led into the blue water which made me ponder on whether the end of the string had been gobbled up by the blue water. I decided to have a brief chat with him.

"Excuse me, but why are you holding that stick and just sitting here? I don't see why you should be doing this when you could be playing games like me," I smiled as I held out my Gameboy.

The old man smiled back at me. He was a handsome fellow with brown tousled hair, slightly dark circles under his deep-sea blue eyes and a set of teeth that radiated with its gleaming white colour. His clothes were rather old but still in good use; probably secondhand.

"Ah! But you are misguided young lady. I am playing one of the most exciting games ever known! I invented it you know? It is called fishing," he chuckled in a funny way.

I giggled back and looked at him with wide eyes that showed genuine interest in everything he said or was about to say. My interest was aroused merely by the tone of his voice and the fascination of the word 'fishing'.

"Umm...where does the string go? Did it get eaten by the blue water?" I asked him with a puzzled expression.

"No, of course not. The water just adores the string you see. You know, I am a magician too. Would you like to see a magic trick?" he said with a wide gleaming smile. A smile that mesmerised me for a moment.

I thought for sure that he was playing a trick on me. I assured him that I would love to as my heart was jumping with excitement. He reeled in the string using a turning wheel connected to the stick he was holding. He then placed a mound which he referred to as 'bait' to the S-shaped metal at the end of the string. Finally, he used the stick to toss the string back into the blue water. Only this time, it landed near a long, dark figure. Within what could have been 30 seconds, he started turning the wheel very quickly.

A fish jumped straight out of the blue water and seemed to love the string or the 'bait' as it held on wriggling non-stop. Finally, the fish was still and the old man removed it from the S-shaped metal at the end of the string and presented it to me.

"It's a big one isn't it Suzy?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"Yes, yes it was daddy."

This particular moment from my childhood left a mark on me as I had discovered a new past time which I still consider a joy to this day. When I fish, it reminds me of him, of his presence, of his spirit still being with me as he will always be; in my heart.
(618 words)


Well, that's the end. My teacher said that it would be cool to use what we've learnt in the one month lesson. So i tried using techniques most writers would be familiar with and took my time to think of a good opening to the story. I also tried expressing my writing style, never wavering far from it. I hope i have achieved that. You, readers of this blog shall be the judge of that i guess.

Comments are highly and deeply appreciated. Anything to improve my writing skills. I would like to take this time to thank future commentators in advance so THANK YOU x)

National day performance and Cross Country next week! Hope my jogging for the last month pays off. Fingers crossed! XD