Part 5

I opened the door cautiously. To my astonishment, it was Joshua.

" Hey, I heard the news. Don't go all emo all right? I'm sure he will be back. Healthy as a horse even! " he said in an unusually spunky way.

" Thanks but no need to say all that. I know the odds are quite varied. Alot of chance rolled into one person's life, " I said with a sigh.

'Yea, I understand that well' he spoke under his breath but I still managed to hear it.

'How so?'

He looked somewhat solemn now. Maybe I shouldn't have inquired.

'I'm sorry for kinda barging in abruptly. I'll go now.' I tried stopping him by calling out to him but he left with a light door slam. It was admirable. I thought my door would have been knocked down by him considering his facial expression.

It's 11pm.

I guess it's time for me to get a call from the sandman. Despite everything that has happened today, I still found comfort in my bed. One usually wouldn't be able to sleep. However, I was miraculously able to.

It's 7am.

I managed to not snooze my alarm clock. Got dressed after showering as usual, had a breakfast consisting of just plain toast and got ready for a dreaded day of school. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'll be greeted by words of pity and sympathy when I arrive.

When i got out. There was J again. What is his problem? I just don't understand him! Ugh! Boys!

" Hey, sorry bout blowing my top. There are just some things that I'd rather not discuss you know? " he said showing off a new hairdo this time. It was turned to a mohawk. Not the really huge one. But the perfect size.

" It's understandable. I would even understand if you wanted to strangle me, " I joked.

He roared with laughter. With everything all right again, I hopped in. We passed several blocks of houses. He suddenly made a turn I didn't recognise.

" HEY! Where are you going!? " I asked hastily.

" Relax..Just sit. We're almost there, " he said calmly.

We arrived at what seemed to be a theme park. What the heck are we doing here?

" You're probably wondering why I took you here. Well, let's just say, you need some cheering up before being mentally ready to return to school, " he said with his sickeningly sweet smile yet again.

'What about school!?'

'What about it? Missing one day isn't gonna get you kicked out. '

*sigh*

No sense fighting it or arguing. He was going to win anyway. We went for almost every ride, even the love tunnel. Finally the last part, the children's playground. The see saw! I loved it as a kid! We ran around alot. It was fun considering we were the only ones there since everyone was at school.

Uh oh! I tripped! With quick reflexes, suddenly there was a strong arm right around my waist preventing me from nearly meeting with the ground. One of my arms just happened to be holding to his left shoulder. Our eyes met. That everlasting gaze happened. Again.

Part 4

The sun was setting now. But, i still hope for hope should never be lost. No, it can only be misplaced. Never lost.

Blake was comforting me now. Even the trees seem to be dancing. Ironic for this sad event? Maybe. A coast guard member approached me and asked me to go home and rest as he thought I have had a tiring day. DUH!! Well, he meant well so i thanked him for his kindness. I asked if i could stay a while longer. He said of course but It may take a while for the search. Possibly days, weeks, *shudder* years?

I felt a light hold on my right shoulder. It was Blake yet again.

'I should take you home now unless you want to go somewhere else? Want a bite maybe?'

'Thanks but I'm good. Maybe I will just stay at home. At least I can still check the news from home,'

We walked slowly. Well, i did anyways. He was just holding back his speed so he wouldn't be walking in front of me. He drove me home and walked me to my doorstep.

" Thanks again Blake. You've been a great help," I said.

" It was nothing much really. It was just driving." he shrugged while saying so.

" No, it was more than that," I flashed him my signature winning smile.

'Guess I'll go in now. See ya! ' I felt a tug on my shirt. 'Wait' What else could he want? His face from calm to serious. His eyebrows scrunched up. Lower lip curled downwards.

" This isn't easy for me to say and I know the time is inappropriate but I want to say it before it's too late. I...I...I've always loved you! Be it what you think! Infatuation? No, because i belive what i feel for you is true. Ever since I laid eyes on you and got to know you better, " he blurted it all out.

" Wow...urmm..I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, " I replied, finding it hard to establish eye contact with him now.

" It's okay. I guess you should still have your time to think, " with that, he walked away sulkingly to his car and drove off.

I unlocked the door and went in my house. It felt empty without dad. Heck! The house even looked empty without him usually lazing on the couch. I felt something. No, it wasn't my hunger. It wasn't a stomach ache either. I felt, a tear trickling down my face. Out came more. I haven't cried like this since mom died.

Then, I heard a knock. Who could it be? I found a dry towel hanging over the rocking chair by the cans for recycling. I've got a messy house. I know. I made sure to wipe away any sign of tears and finally opened the door to an unexpected victim.

Long awaited part 3

But first, previously in part 1 and 2

Part 1

In every high school, there's a clique. Usually. You know those groups of completely different people? Well, i'm not in any of them because i don't want to be named "the villain" like in one of those old high school stories.

I am a teenager with a lot of morals. So i'm pretty much liked by everyone. Like everyone's best friend. I'm supposed to be the perfect friend too. Someone who's willing to be with that person through everything.

However, it has finally come to that time when i start to feel like a hypocrite. I always say to my best pal, Ashley that i will always love her, but now, when i think about it, a feeling of guilt seems to swim right inside me. The reason why is probably because i didn't mean what i said.

Judge me if you will but personally, I don't give a crap. There's another problem. I know my life sounds screwed up but bear me if you will. I have another best friend, Catherine whose character is the total opposite of Ashley's. Oh yeah! There's another thing, they can't stand each others guts! That's why i'm caught in the middle.

I picked Catherine's side over Ashley's but Ashley doesn't know that. Catherine also doesn't know that i still talk to Ashley.

So...you see my problem, don't you? Well, i hope you do because i really need help! In this case, i feel like the villain and i abhore it. I just wish things could go back to how it was back then. CAT would live again! Not CAT as in cat but as in Catherine, Ashley and Tanya.

Yes! Tanya is my name. I'm supposed to love it and all but my dad named me after one of his ex-lovers who was his first. That is so weird, right? If you say "That's so cool!" , then you seriously need a complete overhaul on your brain =.=

Part 2

Okay, first of all..my sanity is still intact.
Miraculously...

So, it was quite an eventful day today. Quite? Wait! Who am i kidding!? It was more like a trip to hell! No, scratch that again. I'm already living in it! It's called COLLEGE!

Clayton College is a prestigious school for well-deserving, well-behaved and high-achieving students. God! That sentence just wants to make me hurl. In fact, my stomach is churning already! I mean seriously, prestigious!? well-behaved!? high-achieving!? I mean, Anne Kelly ( a juniour ) has slept with god-knows-how-many seniours and *cough* freshman. I could tell you more bout the others in the school but why shouldn't i give you the benefit of the doubt?

I went to my usual seat in the cafeteria with my friends ( hello, hi friends ) . I didn't dare to sit with Catherine or Ashley in fear of an outbreak of another battle between the Huns and China like in Mulan.

After lunch, I tried to get out of the cafeteria like a silhoutte, hoping A and C wouldn't notice; although for some eerie reason, i could feel the presence of their eyes looking through my soul. Creepy.

I managed to make it to class on time tho i was caught running in the halls. Luckily A is in another class. I sat next to J, Joshua. I had no choice. Teachers seat you up with your lab partners. He's this decent looking guy who has some issues that noone understands. I don't really bother.

After class, i tried to rush out again. J was ( surprisingly )at the door already..with a sickeningly sweet grin. I tried passing him but he blocked the entrance. He whispered asking me to meet him out back after school in a secluded spot. More like a request actually.

Questions ran through my mind like crazy. I even felt the urge to kill my thoughts. After school, i finally saw him, alone, under a tree, prefectly shaded by the shadows of the leaves in every angle.

Wondering whether i should walk forward or go back, i stood there, like an idiot.

Finally Part 3

*Gulp*

I tried forcing myself to walk but i couldn't move from his breathtakingly built body. I knew he could sense how much effect he had on me. It was obvious on his cheeky grin. It felt like hours yet it was just seconds. Finally, i was able to move on whatever will power i had in me. The wind blew, making my long auburn hair wander across my face. I then met his piercing gaze.

" Why did you call me out here for? " I asked, trying not to sound so shaken up.

" I would like to offer my services as I believe you have a problem, " he said calmly.

" Ho..howww...how did you know? " I stuttered.

" It is quite obvious really. You have two people you used to hang out with all the time. Now, you are always trying to avoid sitting with them. Let alone make eye contact when they are both around, " he replied.

" But how can you help me and why do you even want to? " I asked boldly.

" Well...let's just say you seem very interesting, " He said while brushing his fringe away which allowed me to have a clear view of his whole face.

He told me that i would be seeing more of him. With that, he left. Allowing me to ponder on our conversation. Questions yet again taking over my mind. What was the real reason why he wanted to help me? He never seemed to hang out with anyone. So why would he suddenly want to help me?

" Tanya! " a voice from behind me shouted.

I turned around only to find Blake with cheeks flushed. He must have just finished track team training.

" What is it Blake? " i asked with a rather puzzled expression.

" It's your about your dad. He was involved in an accident. Apparently he was hang gliding. There was a strong gust of wind which blew him way off course and he landed in the sea. A rescue team is off right now in search of him, " he said hardly stopping for air to breathe.

I stood there staring blankly, unsure of what to do or what to think. It was just too hard to swallow. There is a possibility that he is missing, injured or in the worst case i can think of, dead.

Blake shook me several times. I finally managed to blink.

" Come on! The principal allowed you to leave school early to wait at Salt Lake Beach. I've got free period so i'll take you there,"

I followed him as best as i could, trying not to stumble on my own two feet. We got in his hummer. His was driving extremely fast. Although, not fast enough to worry me about having a car accident. When we arrived, i saw police cars, an ambulance ready and a crowd of people. Wonder how they found out. Radio?

Seriously tho, this is the weirdest and most confusing day ever. First Joshua and now this? God! What did i do! I was greeted by several familiar faces and even some strangers. They were all telling me how sorry they were. I don't understand. It is not confirmed that he is dead so why?

All i can do now is wait. Wait for my dad's return to me. So i can see his smile again. The smile he passed down to me.

So there i was, waiting...

Gossip Girl SAS

ok as you can see by the title of this post, some unknown person who probably has nothing better to do is trying to act like the famous american series Gossip Girl.

I mean think about it whoever you are. Why are you doing this? Do you gain anything from it? Do you love ruining people's lives? Sure, sometimes people can be really mean but everyone makes mistakes. And, doing this doesn't make things any better.

You are actually imitating everything from the american series of Gossip Girl except you sound more like you *itch bout people.

This is the incredulous site - http://gossipgirlsas.blogspot.com

Don't forget! This is not AMERICA! It's BRUNEI! Websites like these should not exist especially when it's at the expence of people's dignity and your own school's name

Over and out~

Blast from the past

An old post of mine about FRIENDS =)


There are always people who seem like the "Oh-so-great-friend" but sometimes its all just an act. Makes you want to chew them up and spit them out doesn't it?

To me, real friends are people who stand up for you, are always there for you when you need them the most; not just thru the ups but the downs as well. They know how to listen and speak when needed. Use their words wisely. They can also tell when your not okay even when you say you are.

Besides that, they do not follow or lead but walk beside you. They know how to comfort you and make you feel special. It is of course in the rarest of friends who will look you in the eye and listen intently when you speak. They are the ones who truly care for your well-being.

Of course its not all happy happy stuff like prancing around in a garden and all that jazz. Real friends will tell you something that may hurt you but only because they care. If they truly care. Especially if what they say is to help you.

You can tell alot by a person's eyes. For the eyes cannot lie. You can always tell whether there is true sincerity. Some people do care. But, how much do they care? That is the question. Our head tells us what to do but our heart tells us what is right or wrong. So, people out there, pick your friends wisely and don't regret it =)





Well, thats basically my opinion. I don't know bout you guys. I don't care bout backstabbers, liars, hypocrites, superficial people, etc..

Just not worth my time..

PS. Don't these guys look cute? xp




Xoxo,
JaNz

It's Britain's Got Talent fever for me again. I know there's all the hype bout Susan Boyle but have you seen these guys!? I mean WOW!! xD

Aidan Davis the street dancer



Shaheen Jafargholi the singer



Flawless the dance group

I can't embed the video here so you guys try checking them out on youtube =) Trust me, you'll love it ^^

Diversity the winners!!

Oh yea! There's this guy called Suleman Mirza who is apparently the WORLD's #1 TRIBUTE DANCER to MJ and also a talented singer xp

Special thanks to rui =)

Thanks for your good advice always. It's very sweet of you to always love to help people in need. And its also great to know that we understand each other in terms of friends =)

I loved your post on your blog and i would like to share it here too ^^

Rui's post

It's like sometimes you just wish that your best friends would be there to ask you about it..

just like how everybody does.

But in fact, they don't even ask about it.

Wonder why? You did so much for them before, because you liked them and cared for them.

Not that you wanted them to REPAY each and every goodness that you have done for them.

Just wanted them to at least care for you because if it's you, you'd care..

So sometimes they start to wonder alone..

"What are friends for? I need you to be here but you treat my problems as its like NOYB"

But when you need me, I've always been there for you and of course you're glad that i am.

But then when all the bless is with you, you forget those who fought hard for what you have now.

One thing, don't ever forget how you got to where you are

For who helped you to be where you are now?

If not, you'll fall harder and there's no one there to catch your fall.


Ps. Rui, i edited the language abit. Hope you don't mind =) But seriously, thanks!

Pps. My sisters are back in brunei !!! They surprised us xp



Ppps. Rest in peace Michael Jackson =)