I gave my all

A probably crappy poem i wrote on 3rd feb morning when i reached school at 6:30pm.

Have you ever asked or thought-
What did she have that i did not, or ;
What did i lack?
Perfect? Or a lie?

Your words always fogged up my mind-
Always crossing my mind;
with scattered thoughts.
You made my hopes so high repeatedly,
In just a few, they were crushed.

Your words still linger in my head,
Everlasting,
Ever going.
A best friend?
It would pain me so much more than you realise.

The first to cause me such heartache,
100 beatings would never do, but-
Your few words caused a 100 slashes on my dear heart.

"Right now..I only like you as a best friend, not relationship wise"
Yet, you say the answer is definite.
Yet, you also give pitiful hope at the same time,
Why must you confuse me so?

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"forever are forever will"

I gave you a year. Would even give you a lifetime yet you came up with an answer overnight.

I guess i really wasn't good enough. I never was. Never will be.

I slept a sleepless night, with tears trickling down the ever prolonging road ( my cheeks ), with nothing but a wet pillow and a shattered <3

Ok, i sound pretty much pathetic so i'll stop.

Xoxo,
JaNz